Blogging in the aiport. I am modern.

I am a modern man. I have a computer, a cell phone, and I'm not racist. Sometimes I get on airplanes with people of other races. Fine by me! I understand that race has nothing to do with a person's ability to sit down while their airplane flies. It's true that white males tend to sit the best, but other people sit well enough. Some people say that people from the middle east shouldn't go on airplanes, because of a few middle eastern trouble makers. But I say, put ALL the middle easterners on airplanes. What then, huh? Problem solved the modern way.

I am also modern because have connected to the internet using my cellphone. I'm uncertain how my phone found the internet, because I don't know where the internet is. I bet it's in New York, since most modern things are in New York. I hope I don't get charged for phone calls to New York.

I am modern because I recognized the dangers of smoking and tell everyone it's BAD BAD BAD.

I am modern because I eat vegetables that have been grown without modern farming techniques. This may seem backwards. But since I'm modern, I know it isn't.

I can program my VCR to make a tape of my favorite shows even when I'm not home! Some people say "oh well, guess I just miss it." But not me!

I am modern because I accept homosexuals as strange but all together harmless. I mean, not something I would do, but hey, go for it you modern, modern rascals!

I am modern because when I eat animal meat, I'm starting to feel kind of bad. But I get over it because my organic vegetables are so scrawny and bitter.

I am modern because I wear protective gear when I ride my bike, but not when I climb stairs or jog or drive or other dangerous things. I don't, because no one has marketed me a stair-climbing helmet yet.

I am modern because I blog at the airport while other nonmodern people sit with their crying children and their paper books and think "man, that dude is like the guys I see in quirky romantic comedies who sleep around a lot but eventually settle down with a nice blond girl who breaks him of his go go go modern lifestyle."